I am embarrassed to admit… I’m not in the same shape I was in when I was eighteen…

The other night I played volleyball with a work group and first serve out of the gate I pulled a muscle in my back. It would be the understatement of the year to say I was hurting the next morning. Every single muscle and joint ached to varying degrees. I joked the next day that I was getting too old for that kind of thing, to which a friend replied with rather brutal honesty, “Or too out of shape.”

Ouch.

But accurate.

And it makes sense. I work a sedentary job. I haven’t played volleyball since last year’s work event. Plus, I didn’t even bother to warm up or stretch before the game. I did nothing to prepare myself for the exertion required. No wonder I’m hurting.

You know what else I’m out of shape at? Prayer.

I’ve let so many things stack up, so many conversations I ought to be having with Jesus, so many things I want to tell him about.

It’s a crude metaphor but not an inaccurate one. I haven’t exercised the prayer muscle, I haven’t been in the habit. Sitting down for an hour of prayer time sounds out of reach because I haven’t even been practicing with fifteen-minute increments. When I carve out time, it feels excruciating to quiet my soul and try to open it up to receive the love of God.

I have the privilege of attending a small lunchtime prayer group at work, and we’ve been talking about the nature and habit of prayer. Everyone does it a little differently, be it in the mornings, on walks, or with their kiddos. Some start with scripture, others with silence. Some like using formulas like ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication.) But we all agreed that the consistency part is the hardest.

One of the group members pointed out that it’s like any relationship. If you haven’t seen someone in a long time or don’t know them well, the friendship feels a bit more formal, maybe even forced. It’s not as intimate or connected, because those things take time. It can feel a bit awkward to try to schedule time and initiate conversation. But over time it gets easier, and you begin to see more of each other. Then over time it becomes more seamless and natural. The conversations flow and you don’t have to grasp at straws for topics of mutual interest. It still takes intention to maintain the relationship, but it feels less like effort and more like enjoyment.

How long has it been since you chatted with Jesus about life? Invited him into your joys or struggles? Confessed to him your shortcomings and asked for forgiveness?

Could you start carving out ten minutes? Maybe on Saturdays it becomes twenty?

I took up running a couple of years ago for some anxiety management. Sometimes I get out of the habit because of life or weather or sheer laziness. Every time I get back into the habit, I wonder why I ever gave it up. Over time, after the initial stages of wheezing and going through all five stages of grief on a 5k, I learn to crave running again. To make time for it. To invest in stretching my muscles and pushing them to do more.

I’ve experienced prayer the same way. When I’m in the habit, I have no idea why I ever let myself get out of it. I crave talking to Jesus and hashing things out with him. I miss the quietness that I feel in my soul when I start my day by squaring up with my maker. I feel off-kilter when I miss out on that time.

Maybe you’re not too old or too busy or too broken to pray.

Maybe you’re just as out of shape as I am.

So let’s start from square one together.