When I was in junior high, I took a soccer ball to the face. (Had I been more skilled, I probably could have turned it into an impressive header… but, needless to say, I was not more skilled.) The nosebleed I got as a result was insane, and it earned me some concern from the … Continue reading We Who Bleed

I bought an inordinate amount of pasta sauce this week. To be fair, not all of it was for me... but I walked out of two different grocery stores with about seven jars of pasta sauce in the span of three days. The first time, I used the self checkout very specifically because I was … Continue reading God and Grocery Bags

The other night, I dreamt that I was waiting for my turn on a high dive. It was finally my turn, and right as I got to the top of the ladder and stepped out onto the diving board, I woke up.  The first thought in my mind (after questioning why the high dive was … Continue reading The High Dive

In a foot of snow the day of the big snowmageddon blizzard at the beginning of January, I walked over to my neighbor’s apartment and made a snowman. The snow was all wrong for packing and we were fresh out of carrots and coal so he had a spoon for a nose and pickle slices … Continue reading Snoozing and Snowmen